Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
