it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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