Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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