Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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