Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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