I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
