Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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