i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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