i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
