And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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