Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
