As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize