the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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