I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize