...so i touched it.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
