I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
