If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
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I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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