what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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