A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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