i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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