The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
