Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize