we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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