you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
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I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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