yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize
