Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
not ubering you a puppy
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