atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
