I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
