somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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