I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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