Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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