It's like God shit irony all over that family
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
