the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
