Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
