If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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