You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize