JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
