idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
