i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
