I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
