brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
