I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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