When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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