I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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