why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i out mim tonsoeep
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
