marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
a search helicopter?!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
