Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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