cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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