I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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