Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My ass is underappreciated
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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