We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
