Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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