he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE