I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.