im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.