Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals