i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
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How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
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When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.