Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
honey bunches of taint.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
