Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
