Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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