she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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