I faked an abortion last night.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i dont even know how to be here
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
