I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
