i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
