Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
