I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
