What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
smell my finger.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
