Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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