Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
