worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
