Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Randomize
