with your own penis?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
